[Recommended] Looks Like Using Active
You will submit your creative work. It should be a complete, polished artifact containing all of the critical elements of the final product. It should reflect the incorporation of feedback gained throughout the course from both instructor and peers.
Specifically, the following critical elements should be addressed:
I. Contextual Norms: Craft an original short creative work that meets the following specifications:
A. Adhere to the contextual norms related to structure and form to communicate the ultimate message of your work.
B. Integrate the contextual norms related to establishing a style and voice for your creative work as appropriate for the purposes of your work based on what you have learned in this course. You will explain your choices in your reflective paragraph
C. Use appropriate grammatical construction to ensure clarity of the overall work.
D. Employ creative writing techniques appropriate for your selected form and the meaning of your work. These techniques will differ among the forms, but may include skills or techniques such as tone, point of view, voice, character, narrative structures, poetic structures, imagery, an rhythm.
E. Feature a complete, cohesive narrative, theme, or topic that moves from beginning to end, rather than an excerpt from a larger piece.
For fiction, you will write a complete short story. This story should be 3 to 5 pages in length. Use double spacing, 12-point Times New Roman font, and one-inch margins. For nonfiction, you will write an paper, a memoir, or a personal journalism piece. This work should be 3 to 5 pages in length. Use double spacing, 12-point Times New Roman font, and one-inch margins
FEEDBACK FROM INSTRUCTION MAKE CORRECTION
Overall, I think your next draft could benefit from a little more Show, Not Tell. The bulk of the story is being told in passive language: “It WAS cold snow”, “It WAS one of the most perfect…”, etc. That’s passive (telling) rather than showing. Show us the scene. Show us what it looks like using active verbs!
Integrates genre norms but with deviations or integrations that are not appropriate for establishing a style and voice within the purpose of the work based on course materials
Overall, you could use a final edit, especially for grammar. Part of the problem is you’re also shifting between past and present tenses! Be sure to pick one and stay consistent.
Here’s my biggest note… Why is the narrator the one telling this story as opposed to the unnamed friend? This is the friend’s story, no the narrator’s. There’s definitely a lacking point of view.
Also, I’d recommend naming the characters. It’s hard to keep track of who’s who when you’re just writing “my friend” over and over. I believe you refer to the friend as “he” and “she”, too – so it seems like even you might be getting confused…
THE PAPER YOU WROTE IS UPLOADED BELOW